I heard we made out
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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