jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I can't turn off my feet"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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