did you get engaged???
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
