drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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