You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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