Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
