We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
