it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
