you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
