i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
