She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
