OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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