I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
