After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
