i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
