Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
