Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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