Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
