i need an iv and a liver transplant
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
