i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
