Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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