thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
