did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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