i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
