just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
