is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
