I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
