I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
