You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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