Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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