Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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