i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
