fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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