One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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