i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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