Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
