can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
