Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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