But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
