I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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