The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
