So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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