I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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