Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
