Your dad touched me again.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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