He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
