The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
