i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
