I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
They have beer where we have blood.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
