Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
