That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
