At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
