did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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